


The Abiogenesis Spell

by MA477LL



Category: Legend of the Seeker
Genre: F/F, Fpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-30
Updated: 2012-12-30
Packaged: 2017-11-23 00:33:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/616092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MA477LL/pseuds/MA477LL
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It has been a few years since they saved the world and it is time to move on. Powerful magic gone wrong helps. This is mostly fluff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Abiogenesis Spell

CHAPTER I

The sun is almost completely hidden behind the mountains that overlook the People's Palace when Cara makes it back to her chambers. She has been feeling dizzy all day long, but she does not let that keep her from her duties.

Discomforts of the body are easily dealt with.

She is, after all, Mord'Sith.

But now that she is alone in Lord Rahl's rooms, she allows herself the small indignity of slowing down slightly. She feels her body curl inwards into itself, around her middle, affording a modicum of relief to her aching muscles. It is but a minute shift in her stance, something that would be impossible to detect by anyone but herself. It is precisely why she does not do it in the presence of others.  _She_ would know. Her pride simply does not allow it.

She moves towards the open balcony. There is a cool breeze coming from the North.

She turns her face into it, letting it ruffle and tangle her blonde tresses. Many years have passed since her sisters betrayed her, but she has never grown it back. It is a useful reminder of who she was. Of who she is.

She has been feeling overheated recently; too warm maybe, given the actual temperature. The breeze on her skin feels refreshing and she accepts it as a tiny reprieve after a long day of sweating under her leathers.

She looks around. It is a magnificent view from the balcony. She is not one to admire a view, but even she can acknowledge it. Darken Rahl used to address the crowds from up here. Looming over his people like the black-hearted tyrant that he was.

She looks around the Palace and into the distance. D'Hara has really flourished under Richard's rule. She lets a small smirk touch the corners of her mouth at the thought.

Under  _my_  rule.

She is the one doing most of the hard work; as usual, really, when it comes to Richard.

But hard work is something that Cara takes pride in. She is not afraid of it; quite the contrary.

There are healthy crops and cattle visible as far as the eye can see. The people of D'Hara have never known such an extended period of peace and prosperity, such benevolence from a ruler. Or such an agreeable span of good weather and rains. They can now afford to live their lives almost with their backs turned to the Palace, something that would have never happened a few winters ago.

Cara lets out a breath, moving her neck a bit to the side, and letting the breeze move her shoulder-length hair out of her face. It has been almost five winters now since they defeated the Keeper and Richard accepted his position as ruler of all of D'Hara.

The D'Harans have grown happy and fat in that time, she thinks.

Like well-fed kittens.

It is an image that brings a scowl to her face. Her own leathers have been growing tighter recently. It is not because she has been indulging herself, but still. It is annoying.

She notices that the days have started to shorten significantly. Soon it will be autumn and Richard will be back. He comes back twice a year, for five, maybe six weeks at a time; sometimes, longer, if his presence is required.

Cara makes sure it is not.

There is a knock on the door. She does not move. It is just some of the Palace paid staff, carrying warm water into the room for her nightly bath. It is pretty much the only time she allows anyone inside these chambers whilst she is occupying them. She tries to spend as little time as possible in here.

In fact, she hates it in here.

It is where the previous Lord Rahl used to sleep.

Where Cara, herself, served him.

And that is precisely why she sleeps here. Why she has not changed the bed, or rearranged the furniture, or moved to another part of the Palace. She wants to keep it as it was; to help her remember. To help her keep her place: under the Lord Rahl.

She nods to Gretchen when she informs her that her bath and dinner are ready.

Gretchen is a good aide. She is not Mord'Sith, but Richard decided Cara would be the only Mord'Sith in the Palace, so she has no sisters of the agiel with her here. Gretchen is the next best thing, though. She is loyal and quiet; and never speaks out of turn. It is something Cara appreciates in those around her, when she can bother to think about them at all.

She stretches her shoulders, relaxing them. The morning judgements have been particularly trying on her patience this morning. They are held once a month, on the seventh day after the full moon. She rolls her eyes in annoyance. She wishes she did not have to listen to people babble and stutter and outright lie before she sentenced them. But it is what Richard does when he is here. So she listens. And then, she makes decisions and passes judgements that would turn his stomach.

It is what  _she_  does.

She keeps D'Hara loyal to Richard whilst he stays in Aydindril.

With Kahlan.

She turns around and moves away from the balcony and into the main chamber, walking briskly towards the bath basin and starting to remove her leathers. Perhaps she tugs at the laces with more force than is strictly necessary, but it helps her focus on the task at hand.

She rarely allows herself to think about things that do not concern her.

What the Lord Rahl does when he is away from the Palace is none of her concern.

What happens in Aydindril is none of her concern.

She has only visited four times in all this time _._

 _Not that she is counting_.

And only because duty called. The last time she was there was last spring. Kahlan had looked tired and withdrawn. They had hardly spoken to each other. She has no plans of visiting any time soon.

There is nothing there for her.

 _There never was._ Says a voice inside her head. It sounds like a shout breaking years of silence. The echo of that thought bounces against all the walls she has erected inside her head. Inside her heart.

She moves around quietly, tugging at her leathers and removing them completely.

As she slides into the warm water of the bath, she reflects on how time has passed by faster than she would like, but also, how sometimes, it seems to slow down to a crawl.

These last couple of months have been amongst the longest she can remember.

Because she knows.

She just does not want to know.

It is something that she does. Not often, because she is brutally honest with everyone, and specially, with herself. But she knows that she keeps a couple of dark corners in her mind. Spaces where she has pushed thoughts she refuses to deal with. Emotions that are better not addressed.

But she has been here before. She has felt these… these feelings. These changes.

She knows.

Even thinking the words is hard, when she forms them up in her mind.

She will most certainly not speak them out loud for now.

She will not address this until it needs addressing.

But it does not change the reality.

She is pregnant.

xxx

"It has been over four months, Zedd. I don't know why you insist that it worked."

Kahlan runs her hands through her long dark tresses in frustration, pushing the hair out of her face and lifting it off her neck. Some days she thinks she should just hack the whole thing off and be done with it. It is the last days of the summer and it is still very hot in Aydindril.

She stops her pacing and looks down at herself, and then, at the wizard. "It is obvious that it has  _not_ worked." She can hear her own voice rising as she speaks. She is short-tempered and moody lately. She knows it. Her failure to produce a heir; a new generation of confessors for the Midlands has been dragging on her for many seasons now, changing her character in small ways that are becoming more and more noticeable.

Gone is the happy, carefree Kahlan of old.

"Kahlan, I don't know how to explain this," he murmurs the words softly.

They have had this conversation too many times already. He tries to be kind, to lower his voice, to catch her eye as he speaks. To let her hear the truth in his voice, "it  _has_ worked. There is powerful magic at work here. I know it."

He moves his long body in the chair, nodding and leaning slightly closer to her as he explains. "You know that I consulted with Shota, and she agrees. The magic worked. She has seen the future. The prophecies have changed. They foresee the birth of a new confessor in the winter. Your daughter."

He reaches for another leg of lamb and sniffs it delicately, humming happily to himself.

"This is tasty. Although maybe it needs a bit of salt," he mumbles the last words around a large bite, juices from the tender meat escaping from his mouth and sliding grossly down his chin.

To be entirely truthful, he  _had_ been worried at first, but now, he is unconcerned.

He knows the magic worked. It will reveal itself to them in due time.

He just wishes Kahlan could see it with the same clarity that he sees it.

He looks at Kahlan as she starts pacing again around the room just as he takes another large bite. He smiles slightly and nods approvingly. The part closer to the bone is always juicier.

Maybe it does not need any additional salt after all.

"But how can it be, Zedd? I feel no different. I am still..." she flushes slightly and looks away. She will not discuss the regularity of her bleedings with Zedd, no matter how long she has known him.

No matter how much she has worked herself over this. How much she wants this.

She stops again in front of the wizard and glares at him.

"Can you at least stop eating for a minute?" she is annoyed with him, because he raised her hopes. But it is her fault. She let him convince her and try that ridiculous, unpronounceable spell that has obviously  _not_ worked.

She would stomp her foot in frustration if she was not the Mother Confessor of all the Midlands.

She is annoyed because he keeps insisting that it has worked when her stomach is as flat as it has always been; when it is obvious that there is no life growing in her.

But, somewhere in her mind, where she is only and always the Mother Confessor, where she knows truth with a clarity and sharpness that leaves no possible room for hesitation or doubt, she knows two things.

One, that he is telling the truth.

And two, that she had convinced herself the spell would not work anyway. Zedd had insisted that true, passionate love was a requirement on both sides for it to work. He made it sound epic and silly as only the old wizard can.

And when Kahlan allows the Mother Confessor to rule over her thoughts completely, she knows things have changed too much between her and Richard. She knows that kind of love is no longer part of what they have.

When she is being brutally honest, she hears the voice that questions whether she ever felt that way.

She is upset because now that she has opened herself up to the idea that she might be pregnant, she feels the pain of her failure more acutely.

The weight of Aydindril.

Of unfulfilled duty.

xxx

 

CHAPTER II

News has a strange way of travelling around the Midlands that means that, sometimes, you learn of things almost as they are happening, but also, sometimes seasons pass before news makes its way to the interested parties.

It is only when Richard comes back from his stay at the People's Palace, in the middle of one of the harshest winters any of them can remember, that Kahlan and Zedd find out.

It makes Zedd spit the wine he had been savouring.

 _And such a good wine it was, too_. He thinks in mild annoyance and not a bit of regret.

The spluttered wine reaches Kahlan and Richard.

He yelps and moves slightly out of the way. She lets go of the plate she had been passing to Zedd, which slides from suddenly numb fingers to the floor, making a right mess, spilling the food into the very fine rug under her feet.

 _And such good venison that was, too_. Thinks Zedd. This time, with real regret as he lets his eyes move over the spoilt food. His bushy eyebrows lift in thought. Maybe he can use a spell to put the food back into the plate?  _A really, really, tiny spell of undoing?_ He looks at the other two as he considers.  _There would be no harm in that, surely?_

Richard's visits to D'Hara have been growing longer through time, Richard very much enjoying his time with Cara at the People's Palace. But this was his longest stay thus far. In a different time, Kahlan would have missed him terribly, but now, she can admit to herself that four months apart is no longer a painful separation for either of them.

The round trip takes over a fortnight so the communication between the two realms is fluid, but slow. Only important news is communicated and Cara is sparse in her letters. She talks of Estate affairs, of crops, of justice imparted, of possible rebellions.

Of none of the things Kahlan would like to know, really.

Cara never discusses what she thinks about during cold winter nights, or whether she has let her hair grow longer, or if she has met anyone special.

So, after a while, Kahlan lets some of her aides run that correspondence for her. It is easier than sending news and receiving only stubborn silence as a response.

But this news!

Kahlan turns wide, uncomprehending, eyes towards Zedd. He looks away for a moment before his eyes focus back on the Mother Confessor.

There is no need to say anything. They both know the minute the words leave Richard's mouth.

The magic has finally revealed itself.

It _did_  work.

Cara's child: It has to be Kahlan's.

xxx

It takes them over a week to organize the trip.

Zedd spends the time invoking all the magic he knows of. It only serves to confirm that this is the child of Kahlan... of Kahlan and Cara. That the spell worked, like magic always seems to work; in ways that are unexpected only to those that do not know any better.

Richard stays back in Aydindril. He knows it is time for him to step aside. Maybe the boy who first met Kahlan in the forests of Westland would had put up some kind of fight, but the man that he is now does not. He helps them prepare for the trip and then, he hugs Kahlan for a long time before they say their goodbyes. They will meet again, of course, but never on these terms. He squeezes her gently one last time before letting go. In many ways, it is their first real goodbye, and possibly, the last meaningful one.

He stays in the courtyard, watching their silhouettes become progressively smaller until they disappear entirely from view.

Richard had also known the minute he saw Cara's enlarged stomach and grumpy face.

How could he _not_.

He had known, all these years, of Cara's feelings. For someone who took pride in not letting her feelings rule over her, what Cara felt for Kahlan was obvious for anyone who wanted to see it. And so, they had known.  _All_  of them. In various degrees of conciousness. They just chose never to speak of it. Perhaps for fear that, by acknowledging it, they might also have to question if the feelings were returned.

It is why Richard did not send word with the news. Why he overstayed his welcome at the People's Palace, getting on Cara's last nerve. He needed the time to reconcile himself with something that he had known for a while: that the spell was a last chance for himself and Kahlan.

They had not been intimate for a while.

Neither entirely sure it was safe for Richard any more.

What is worse, neither entirely sure there would be any magic to contain.

xxx

Kahlan and Zedd travel light and send word of their travel ahead of them so that Cara knows they are coming.

It will not be easy to explain things, but explain they will.

In her own way, Cara has been confused by her pregnancy. But she lays both with men and women often enough that she figures it could have happened. Sometimes, a lot of ale is involved and she does not exactly remember the details of all her trysts. Nor does she want to. So after a while, she just shrugs it off. There is no point in wasting time thinking about how exactly this happened or who might be the father.

No child of hers needs a father figure anyway.

Neither does she allow herself to think much of Kahlan's visit when she learns of it.

And if she feels the pain under her ribs expanding and beating stronger than it usually does, making it harder to breathe, she only attributes it to a bad digestion and her advanced estate of gestation.

xxx

When they meet, Cara makes things hard.

It is her way.

She does not let Kahlan or the wizard hug her. And only reluctantly, later, when Kahlan almost strong-arms her way into Cara's chambers, does she let Kahlan touch her belly to feel the baby. It does not move, of course. She is too advanced into her pregnancy now and the baby is already in position, settled low on her hips.

In fact, Cara thinks she might explode any minute now. She feels bloated and tired. Ugly and fat, really; quite ridiculous looking, forced out of her usual leathers.

She tells herself that is not the reason why she didn't let Kahlan embrace her.

However, Kahlan's wonder and joy at feeling her belly makes her relent slightly, and she finally allows herself to really smile at them. She  _is_  pleased to see Kahlan. She might be even a little bit pleased to see the wizard.

She listens to Kahlan and the wizard as they talk and talk about a spell Zedd cast on Kahlan. She tries to match their seriousness but she keeps getting distracted by Kahlan's hair, and her blue eyes, and how she blushes at some points of the story, and how she is looking straight into Cara, and how beautiful she looks, and Cara cannot stop herself from rolling her eyes every time Zedd says the words  _powerful magic_ , which is about once in every two sentences he utters as far as she can tell.

In truth, it takes Cara a bit of time to finally comprehend what they are saying.

She is frowning when she finally gets a word in, "so you are saying that the baby," she starts to ask, but Kahlan stops her.

"It's ours, Cara," she breathes the words, her whole body turned towards Cara, reaching; a look of total wonder on her face. "Yours,  _and_  mine."

xxx

Of what happens next, Cara is not entirely sure later.

Her water breaks and there is a lot of nervous yelling and running around. Not on her part, of course. It seems to her that she is the only one acting rationally in the whole damned Palace. She knows the pains of labor and they are nothing to her. She has withstood far, far worse than a few contractions.

She is pretty much in her right mind and fully aware of Kahlan hovering around when the baby finally comes.

It is a girl. A tiny confessor if she is to believe the wizard's tale.

It is all messy and bloody and everybody cries and laughs and it is really not Cara's thing.

The baby is pale with a puff of soft dark hair on top of her head and light eyes, perhaps green. Cara frowns deeply and immediately thinks that they will need to be careful with her. Something tells her exposure to the sun may cause the advent of  _freckles_. She looks at Kahlan.

Not that there is anything wrong with freckles.

It just  _detracts_  from a truly imposing and ruthless leader, to have freckles.

The baby cries loudly after taking her first full breath. Like she is annoyed she has been pushed out of the comfy place where she has been living. It makes Cara proud that she is so loud. She must have good lungs, which means greater endurance in battle.

She notices Kahlan crying and cooing over the new born baby and can barely stop herself from rolling her eyes.

She does not wonder why she is so aware of where Kahlan is at all times. It is second nature to her, even after all these years. If asked, she would say it comes from all the time they travelled together around the Midlands. She had to know where Kahlan was if she wanted to protect her.

 _Nothing_  more.

After the baby is born, Gretchen helps Cara into a clean shift so that she can prop up in her rather large bed. That she lets the other woman help speaks loudly of just how tired she is. She sits restlessly until, eventually, they place the newborn baby in her arms. Then, she sits in silence, just watching her. Perhaps, too stunned to do more than just sit there, with the little girl that weights next to nothing cradled in her strong arms.

She never had a chance to hold her son. But she does not let herself think about that.

She must space out for a bit, in bed with the baby, because when she finally becomes conscious of her surroundings once again, it is dark inside the room and everyone has left.

Everyone, except Kahlan.

Kahlan sits in a chair pushed close to the bed, regarding them both with a tender smile. It is the kind of look Cara hates seeing on Kahlan. Cara thinks she can spy dry tracks of tears on her cheeks. She is still wearing her travel dress and, for a moment, Cara thinks that she looks more tired than  _she_  feels. They must have travelled day and night through the Midlands and D'Hara to make it to the People's Palace so quickly.

"Hey," Kahlan says softly as she notices Cara looking at her.

There is a brightness in Cara's eye that speaks of tears she would never shed but also, of something else. Something that makes Kahlan's heart beat faster. She stands up hesitantly and moves towards Cara and the baby, sitting on the large bed, almost touching Cara, but not quite. She runs a hand over the colourful design decorating the sheets.

"She is beautiful." Kahlan chokes a bit when she says the words, smiling at them both. Then, she continues. "I- I missed you, Cara." It is the truth, but also, an understatement. It does not tell of how the winters apart have been filled with both duty and work, but also, sadness and disappointment. How being here, sitting in this bed, a breath away from Cara is the best she has felt in many months. How that feeling has nothing to do with the precious bundle Cara is holding in her arms.

Cara holds her gaze for long moments, perhaps seeing everything that is not said, until the baby makes a mewling noise and starts to move restlessly against her aching, swollen breasts.

Kahlan reaches a tentative hand towards the baby, but pulls it back before she can touch her. "Maybe she is hungry?," it is only a whisper, but her voice carries in the empty room, conveying the wonder of everything that is happening.

This is unexplored territory for Cara, and she has made up her mind already that she will not breast feed the baby herself, but there is nobody else here and she does not want her daughter to be hungry. So she resolves that if common women in godforsaken villages can figure out how to breast feed their babies, it should be easy for her.

Anything a common woman can do, a Mord'Sith can do better.

She reaches to move her shift out of the way, baring her breast without thought. She hears Kahlan gasp and raises her eyes to look at her, noticing the slight flush suddenly colouring Kahlan's cheeks and neck. Kahlan keeps her eyes on the baby, or maybe, on Cara's breast, refusing to make eye contact.

The baby starts feeding almost as soon as Cara puts her nipple close to her mouth. It is a strange feeling, the pull from the suction that is hardly noticeable at first, but then grows stronger as the baby figures out what she is doing. It is not entirely unpleasant.

This is keeping her away from important duties, but Cara cannot find it in herself to be upset with Kahlan for knocking her up, or with Zedd for his ridiculous half-assed plans and remarkably poor magic.

She is only upset about that sappy bit about mutual love being necessary for the spell to work.

 _They had better not tell that to anyone else_ , she thinks morosely.

It is the only part that makes her doubt what they have said. Kahlan had not outright confirmed it, but when the wizard explained, she had been looking straight into Cara's eyes. Cara saw it in her eyes. And the Mother Confessor does not lie. This she knows as much as she knows anything.

She feels a slight touch across the top of her breast as Kahlan finally reaches out a hand and touches the baby's head, her fingers sliding tenderly across the upper skin of Cara's own chest as she tries to smooth down the dark hair of the baby.

It only seems to make Kahlan blush harder, but she doesn't stop touching them for a while, until at last, she raises her eyes to look at the green ones so close to her own.

"Cara, can I-," she stops and looks away, trying to form her thoughts, her wants and needs, into words. Then, she takes a big breath and tries again. Her voice is soft but sure as befits the Mother Confessor.

"Can I hold her?," Cara looks at her and nods. She moves her arms and the baby minutely towards Kahlan, offering her, but Kahlan shakes her head and looks straight into Cara's green eyes as she finds the words to ask what she really means.

"Can I hold you both?"

Maybe it is because of the loss of blood during labor. Or the fact that Kahlan is here and looks so beautiful and is being so tender.

Maybe it is the way Kahlan is looking at her, touching her.

Maybe it is something else, but she says yes. She nods once. "If you must," Cara says.

Kahlan stands up. She should really wash herself before she gets in bed with Cara and the baby, but she doesn't want to move too far away, in case Cara reconsiders and takes back her offer. So she takes off her dress and boots and cleans herself up as best she can with the water and towels that have been left behind after the birth of the baby. She stands for a moment, wearing her corset and underwear.

She looks at Cara. Cara looks exhausted, although the Mord'Sith would never admit it. The baby has fallen asleep against her naked breast and she is not sure if the blonde has even noticed.

Her corset feels rough and hard. She does not want Cara to be uncomfortable, pressed against it. Of course, Cara would never complain, but she knows the metal parts are pointy and hard. And thus, without giving herself time to think this through, she takes it off too.

She stands for a moment, facing Cara, who looks at her with that appreciative look that Kahlan now realizes has always been in Cara's eyes whenever she regarded her.

"Move forward a bit?" Kahlan asks gently as she takes hold of the sheet covering Cara and slips under it, moving to rest her back against the pile of pillows that Cara has been leaning against. Her legs move around Cara, one on either side, touching the other woman's bare legs under the covers, where Cara's shift has ridden up a bit.

It takes a moment of shifting around, but it is a comfortable fit for them both. There is no awkwardness. They have gone through too much together and in this moment, none of the daily barriers that have kept them apart for years are up.

When Cara finally leans back completely and Kahlan moves her arms around her, holding both the mother and the baby, Kahlan feels the slight woman shake in her arms.

Maybe it is Kahlan that is shaking.

It is hard to tell.

Holding her like this, Kahlan realizes how much bigger she is. It is only Cara's formidable personality that makes her appear taller and stronger.

She inhales deeply, closing her eyes for a second. Memorizing this moment, engraving it into the tapestry of her being. The feel of Cara in her arms, even through one layer of clothing, burns her skin. It makes her nipples grow hard as liquid fire travels through her limbs, making them feel heavy and warm. She is instantly wet and aching. She is not surprised to feel like this. Regardless, that is the last thing from her mind right now.

Cara is soft and warm. Kahlan feels Cara relaxing into her, burrowing deeper into her body, letting her head fall back to rest against her neck and shoulder, the side of her forehead rubbing slightly against Kahlan's cheek.

It is too much at once.

Kahlan cannot stop herself. She turns her face enough to leave a kiss on Cara's forehead. Then, another one on her cheek, on the corner of her mouth, and again, on her forehead.

Kahlan squeezes her gently, as much as she dares, one arm moving across her stomach and the other reaching all around Cara, to place it over the hand that is holding the head of the baby.

Her daughter.

She would sing to them if she thought she could get away with it.

If she has been happier than she is right now at any point before in her life, Kahlan cannot remember it.

xxx

 

CHAPTER III

Pride ends up being Cara's downfall; her weakest feeling.

Kahlan could have told her that all along.

xxx

It is late the next day when Kahlan finally wakes up. She immediately looks around for Cara and the baby, but she is alone in the room.

The sun is already high in the sky. Despite having slept for many hours, she feels tired. Her body is not used to oversleeping. She moves up on the large bed to rest against the pillows, trying to finger-brush her long dark tresses into some sort of order.

The room is still a bit messy, but it is obvious that someone has been straightening things up whilst she was sleeping. Her own travel dress and corset are neatly folded on top of the chair where she sat just yesterday night, watching Cara and the baby.

She smiles at the memory.

She must have slept really deeply not to notice Cara leaving the bed, but it  _had_  been a stressful trip from Aydindril to the People's Palace. A stressful few months, really, since they cast the spell. And yesterday night, after the emotional roller-coaster she went through, she had felt herself relax completely into the pillows as she held Cara and the baby.

She hopes Cara has thought of a name for the baby. She wants to call her Sonia, but she will go with whatever name Cara has chosen.

She is disappointed to wake up alone, but she is not surprised that Cara is gone.

She shakes her head, a small smile breaking through. Truthfully, she would not have been surprised to learn that the blonde was already back to her red leathers and daily duties. She knows that what happened between her and Cara yesterday was an oddity, that it was only allowed because of how physically and emotionally drained Cara had been.

She would have never let Kahlan hold her like that otherwise.

It is not the first time Kahlan has caught Cara off guard, so she knows the day after is always a completely different story.

She looks around the room as she dresses, really seeing it for the first time. Something about it feels… off. She is not sure how she imagined Cara's room, but this is certainly not it. The thick bear skin rugs, the dark panels and grand, pretentious, furniture. It somehow does not fit Cara, who is practical and military-like in her tastes.

Kahlan is not sure where her things are, but she hopes they are not lost forever. She brought some things for the baby; family heirlooms, that she would very much like her daughter to have. She recalls the short, blonde woman that looked in charge when they arrived. Hopefully, she has kept them safe. They had been in too much of a rush to care one way or the other, and then, when the baby came, her luggage was the furthest thing from her mind.

Now, she has every intention of finding Cara, and the baby. So she finishes dressing quickly and moves to the big panelled doors. When she opens them, there is someone sitting in the outer room. Obviously, waiting for her. Kahlan breathes a small sight of relief when she notices it is the woman from yesterday. She smiles briefly at her. She will know where the others are and also, where her things are.

"Mother Confessor," the woman curtseys slightly, and Kahlan notices she does it in the traditional way of the Midlands. It makes one of Kahlan's eyebrows rise in question.

She does not need to wait long to find out who this woman is.

"My name is Gretchen. I can take you to your rooms, my lady, if you would like?" she asks as she turns slightly towards the back door, her body pointing the way. Gretchen looks about forty. Short, but strong and capable. Confident. She must be if she addresses the Mother Confessor so directly.

"Yes. Thank you, Gretchen " Kahlan nods and follows her as Gretchen walks through the door and out of the room. As she walks, Kahlan makes conversation. "How is it that you know how to address a confessor?"

"I was born in the Midlands, my lady, but I have been working here in the Palace for some winters now." She walks ahead, leading the way.

The People's Palace is much larger than Kahlan's own palace at Aydindril. They walk through many corridors and up a number of narrow stairs. She tries to pay attention, but she is not sure if she will be able to make it back to Cara's chambers on her own, once Gretchen leaves.

"Are all guest rooms located as far away from Cara's?" Kahlan asks peevishly. It is starting to look like Cara has put her in the room farther away from hers.

"Oh, yes, my lady. You will be next door to the baby's nursery. She did not want the baby staying so close to Lord Rahl's rooms." She opens a door and they enter an ample and well-lit sitting room. The room is warm and luminous and feels well-lived. Comfortable.

"Lord Rahl's rooms? Is that where Richard stays when he is here, then?" Kahlan asks almost sharply. She can feel a pang of something like jealousy in her stomach. She has been so miserable recently, she never really stopped to think about what Richard and Cara may have been doing all these months. Maybe this is Richard's baby and not her own?

But, no. She knows that is not true. She is just being ridiculous because it hurt to wake up alone in the large bed.

"No, my lady. Those are the  _old_ Lord Rahl's rooms; Darken Rahl's." Gretchen's voice catches slightly as she says the last bit.

For the first time since they met, Gretchen looks away, as if she has said something she should not have. She walks Kahlan through a door at the end of the sitting room and then, moves to leave. "Excuse me, my lady, I was asked to wait for you and bring you to your rooms as soon as you woke up, but now, I must take my leave." With that, she bows and beats a somewhat hasty retreat before Kahlan can question her further.

Once alone, Kahlan looks around. It is a nice, large room, in an irregular, hexagonal shape. It is decorated sparsely, and obviously for the comfort of those living here and not for show. There is a large desk with parchments and writing utensils pushed against one of the walls and two fire places on either side of the room. In front of one of them, there are two chairs. One of the walls is almost entirely taken up by a large bed that looks like it could sleep a small army. She can see that her bags have been left next to the chest that is at the foot of the bed. Right next to it, there is another door, which is open.

Through it, she can hear a baby crying.

The smile that breaks on her face upon hearing it is wide enough to make her cheeks ache.

xxx

"Explain it again, wizard," Cara asks.

Zedd is sitting at a large table and helping himself to a healthy late breakfast. Or maybe it is an early lunch. Cara is standing, looming really, over him. Not because she wants to intimidate the old wizard; the time for that came and went already, but because, although she will  _not_  admit it, there is simply no way she can sit down right now.

In fact, sitting down may be out of the question for at least a week.

She is pale and sweating slightly. Also, annoyed at herself for feeling this weak.

The last time she had a child, she marched with her sisters the very next day.

The memory makes her stand straighter. She tries not to think about the past, but sometimes, memories sneak up on her unexpectedly. For a moment, she reaches to touch one of her agiels to help clear her mind.

Zedd regards Cara thoughtfully. He does not pull any punches when it comes to the Mord'Sith. It is what she wants, really. He appreciates that about her. Her desire for honesty, regardless.

"You know Kahlan and Richard have been unable to have children." Cara does not even bother to acknowledge that. It is obvious she knows. "It is why Kahlan decided not to marry Richard. She felt very strongly that the Mother Confessor should be with child before marrying. After all, her duty is to start a new generation of confessors for Aydindril. If her current mate cannot help, she must choose someone else."

This is also not news to Cara.

"Get to the point, old man." She says impatiently.

"Kahlan asked me to help. I knew of an old spell, hardly ever used, the abiogenesis spell, that could help." He pauses a moment. "As you know, in the past, I have helped others when they could not bear children, but it didn't turn out that well." He takes a long breath. He is never keen on discussing his magic mishaps. He regards Cara seriously as he continues speaking. "It is why I chose this spell, to be sure that the child would be pure-hearted, a true love child. And most importantly: a girl."

He emphasizes the next words.

"It is  _very_ powerful magic, Cara."

Cara just rolls her eyes. "Of course it is, wizard." She mutters back.

Zedd just nods to himself as he puts a large bite of something disgusting-looking into his mouth and starts chewing noisily. It makes Cara's stomach clench. Her pregnancy has not been easy; she has been throwing up regularly throughout. She thinks she may be thinner now than she was before the pregnancy.

"So you cast this- this abibogentis spell on Kahlan and Richard… and  _I_  got pregnant?" She frowns at the wizard. "Your magic is singularly inefficient, Zedd. As usual."

"It is called the abiogenesis spell. And I think it worked beautifully." He looks mighty pleased with himself as he gives her a large smile and a wink. His normal good humour making an appearance. "The magic will not manifest itself for years to come, but the baby  _is_  a confessor," he explains.

In response, Cara makes a sound that may best be described as a growl.

The last thing she wants to think about right now is how she, once the highest ranked Mord'Sith of D'Hara, has ended up given birth to a confessor.

"And now, Kahlan…" she does not finish the sentence. She is not sure what she wanted to say exactly.

"Now, you will have to marry Kahlan, obviously," Zedd says. She hates the glint that has appeared in the wizard's eye.

He continues unperturbed.

"Come to think of it, I may have to cast another abiogenesis spell in the near future. Maybe get Kahlan pregnant this time." He looks her up and down, as he raises one of his large hands to his chin, making a show of considering something.

"Or maybe, you again." A slow smile spreads over his thin lips. "Yes. Perhaps twin girls this time."

Cara eyebrows first lift almost all the way into her hairline, and then, scrunch up back together; making two deep lines appear between her very green eyes. Her hand goes to one of her agiels and she considers hitting the old wizard with it. But after a moment of staring daggers at him, she just turns around and leaves the room.

It makes Zedd laugh.

He really is in an  _excellent_ mood this morning.

And duck with oranges may just be his new favorite dish.

xxx

Cara had not slept all night. She had just sat, in Kahlan's arms, holding the baby.

At dawn, she had risen from the bed trying not to wake Kahlan. Then, she had taken the baby to the nursery. Since then, she has not gone back to see her. She knows everything is well organized and that the baby is well taken care of.

Some would say she is avoiding Kahlan and the baby, but that would be ridiculous, because she is Mord'Sith and she does  _not_  avoid anything.

She decided a long time ago that she would not breast feed the baby. The least time she spends with her, the better for everyone concerned. Plus, now that Kahlan is here, she can be a mother for the baby, given what she has learned about the biobigingis spell… the obiogintis spell… whatever the name of that annoying spell is.

Kahlan will be a much better mother than Cara could ever be.

Cara momentarily wonders if Kahlan will ask to take the baby back to Aydindril with her when she goes back; and what she herself will do when that happens. But she immediately shakes that thought off her mind. She will not let a tiny human being that weights less than a turkey interfere with her duties here in the Palace.

When she finally gets back to the nursery, after talking to the wizard, the two women that will be helping and breastfeeding the baby are there. Cara selected them before the baby was born. This is the one task where a common woman may actually be better than a Mord'Sith.

The baby is asleep. Kahlan must also still be asleep because she is not around.

Cara regards the newborn girl for a moment. There is something about her nose and bone structure that reminds her of Kahlan. With her eyes closed in sleep, the baby looks nothing like Cara and quite a bit like the Mother Confessor.

For some reason, that observation brings both happiness and disappointment to Cara.

She touches the baby lightly, caressing her tiny arm. Cara is wearing her leather gloves, but she can feel an unnatural heat climbing up her arm, initiating where she is touching the baby, and ending up in her chest, hitting it with the force of a kick from a battle horse.

For a moment, it is hard to breathe.

She snaps her hand back and leaves the room.

xxx

Kahlan learns of Cara's visit to the nursery from one of the girls Cara has chosen to care for the baby.

She wishes Cara would breast feed the baby herself, but if she cannot or will not, she admits that, after spending the day with them, she wholeheartedly approves of the young women Cara has chosen for the task.

Cara does not go back to Kahlan's room or to see the baby in the afternoon. So when the sun is almost completely hidden over the horizon, Kahlan sets out to find her.

She decides to go to her chambers. She struggles around the unknown Palace, walking down corridors that are almost deserted at this time of night. Finally, she gets a passing Dragon Corp guard to take her to Cara's chambers, but once there, the guards protecting the door refuse to let her in while Cara is not in her rooms.

Kahlan just sits on the floor and stubbornly awaits for Cara to come back, glaring at the guards, who are obviously more afraid of Cara than they are of the Mother Confessor of all the Midlands.

Perhaps, rightly so.

When Cara finally appears, she looks exhausted. She is pale as a ghost, and has deep lines of fatigue on her otherwise unblemished skin, and dark circles under her eyes... she looks like a woman who has just given birth.

Cara does not say anything when she sees Kahlan, but at the door, she waits for Kahlan to stand up and join her before closing it behind them both. Standing so close, Kahlan can smell ale on Cara, but the Mord'Sith walk is steady, and when she finally speaks, she sounds tired, but sober.

"Why are you here, Kahlan." Cara asks. And, without waiting for a response, she walks across the room and through the open balcony, leaning over the railing.

Kahlan follows behind.

She knew Cara would not allow the closeness of the previous day to continue. But she does not let that deter her.

It is a moonless night and it is chilly outside. It is dark in the balcony and Kahlan wishes they were inside, where she could see Cara's face more clearly. Cara's face almost always betrays what she is thinking.

She moves to stand by Cara's side, so close that one of her breasts brushes against Cara's arm. It is not entirely accidental. Kahlan knows her well enough to understand she must attack Cara physically, if she wants to have a chance. It is a dangerous strategy, but one that may pay out in the end. She has to be ruthless.

Cara turns on her side at the touch, facing Kahlan and putting some distance between them.

"Shouldn't you be with your daughter?" Cara almost snarls.

" _Our_  daughter," Kahlan corrects her, moving closer. Daring the Mord'Sith to step back. "I would like to call her Sonia, but if you prefer-"

"Sonia is fine." Cara interrupts, shrugging her shoulders as if she does not care. She does not have a list of things she would rather not talk about, but if she did, discussing baby names with the Mother Confessor would probably be near the top.

They stay in silence for long moments after that, breathing in the night air.

Kahlan regards Cara thoughtfully. It has been a long time since their travels through D'Hara and the Midlands, and she cannot read her, but she  _knows_  this woman. She has thought about Cara more than she has thought about anyone else in her whole life. She observed her closely through the year they travelled together, watching all her movements; first, out of distrust, and then, out of something she only now truly understands. She knows that when Cara is exhausted, like she must be now, she holds even more onto her Mord'Sith persona.

She also knows they have created a child out of thin air together and what that means: how Cara must feel for her.

It gives her the edge.

Kahlan reaches a hand to touch Cara's cheek lightly, her fingers caressing soft skin. "You look tired, Cara."

Cara takes a step back from Kahlan. She cannot take any more touching right now, not from her, nor the baby. It is like their touch burns through her skin, reaching with invisible fingers to squeeze her entrails.

"Don't touch me." Cara says roughly, turning her face and her whole body slightly away from Kahlan, moving further away from the light coming in from the door to her chambers, backing herself into the corner. She is almost completely hidden in shadows now.

Kahlan takes a deep breath and follows right behind, refusing to give Cara the space she craves.

"Cara, we have a daughter together. We are a family now and-"

"We are  _not_." Cara interrupts again. "Don't fool yourself into thinking there is something between us, because there isn't. You! You, Richard and the wizard. You  _forced_  this on me," her voice is deep and rough, like a knife slicing through the night.

The words cut deeply, leaving them both breathless.

Kahlan is silent for a long time after that, regarding the Mord'Sith carefully. Her eyes slowly adjusting to the lack of light in the balcony.

Her voice is sharp when she finally talks. She uses her Mother Confessor voice.

"You listen to me, Cara Mason."

"I see  _you_." A breath. "I always have." She takes a tiny step closer, so that they are almost touching.

"The time I stayed away, it was hard on me too. But it was my duty. I  _had_  to give Aydindril a new confessor." She nods as she speaks, perhaps trying to convince them both that all the pain was worth it. "I know I hurt us both, and I am sorry."

She lowers her eyes for a second, blinking back tears. Then, she looks up again, making eye contact. "I am sorry, Cara. That it took me so long to know myself. To understand this- this thing between us."

Kahlan stops again until she is sure Cara is listening. "I am sorry I hurt you."

Cara huffs a protest, a muscle on her cheek twitching. "Don't be absurd. You did not hurt me."

Kahlan smiles tightly, but doesn't stop. She will say what she has to say.

"Now, you need time and space, so you can think about what this means and how it changes whatever plans you held for your future before Sonia came, I understand." Her voice softens somewhat. "I will give you the time you need to work through this in that thick, mule-headed, brain of yours."

Cara frowns at being so described.

Kahlan takes a deep breath and, again, reaches for Cara, this time grabbing her biceps with strong fingers. Cara does not try to pull away. She is already against the railing and has nowhere to go.

"But do not think that you can push me away or that I am going to go away, because I am not." Kahlan's voice is still firm, but it holds something else now. "I am not going anywhere." A breath, then, " _we_  are not going anywhere."

As she says the last bit, she pulls on Cara's arms and, at the same time, presses forward, pushing their hips together, until Cara is flush against her own body. Then, Kahlan leans forward and kisses the smaller woman.

She applies hardly any pressure. It is little more than lip over lip, so soft a kiss that Cara would have never allowed anyone but Kahlan to kiss her like this.

It makes Cara's whole body tremble and she gasps into Kahlan's mouth.

Kahlan steps back almost immediately, backing out of the balcony. She stops at the entrance of the room, her silhouette in stark contrast against the light coming from Cara's chambers.

"Come find us soon, Cara." She whispers.

And with that, she is gone.

xxx

 

CHAPTER IV

Cara stays away for almost a week.

Kahlan tries to respect her need for distance. For a few days, anyway.

On the fifth day since the birth of Sonia, Cara wakes up in the barracks. It is the last time she is allowed to stay away.

She has a headache from all the ale she drank the previous day and a busted lip. She is not entirely sure how she ended up sleeping here, in the narrow cot she keeps in her quarters at the barracks, but this is hardly an uncommon event. She has spent many a night on this cot over the years. On nights when forcing herself to go back to her room and sleep on Darken Rahl's bed was not an option, even for her.

Now it feels like even less of an option.

She has been unable to lie down on that bed since the night she spent awake, holding the baby and being held by Kahlan. It is the kind of reticent behaviour she would not tolerate from anyone else, much less herself, but Sonia and Kahlan, their close proximity... They left an invisible imprint on her body, a shadow touch that keeps squeezing at her chest, her stomach. She always knew of Kahlan's steely core. Indeed, she thought of her as an iron fist in a velvet glove. But this; this hold. This hook. No, she had not expected it.

She stands up from the cot, stretching sore muscles. It is a wretchedly uncomfortable cot. She runs her hands through her hair and rearranges her agiels so they sit properly on her thigh. Maybe she holds on to them for longer than necessary. But the soreness in her body, the pain working its way up from her hands and into her being, it centres her, clears her mind from unwanted thoughts.

Her body still feels tender from childbirth. She lost some blood yesterday, but nothing worse than her monthly bleedings, so she is not concerned. It was the same the other time and she is quite a bit older this time.

For a second, she wonders if she has grown soft.

She scowls at the notion, but the thought does not annoy her as much as she thinks it should. And when she thinks that it is Richard's, Kahlan's and Zedd's fault that she is feeling so out of her element, it is more in resignation than anything else. She does not hold it against them.

She allowed them to do it to her, after all. She  _could_  have killed them all and avoid herself all this trouble.

She leaves the barracks through a narrow corridor leading to a door at the corner of the courtyard, intending to go to her chambers to wash and eat something.

That is when she sees Gretchen. She is waiting in the middle of the courtyard, wringing her hands. Cara lifts an eyebrow at her, slightly surprised that Gretchen always seems to know how to find her. As she approaches, she notices her nervousness.

Cara can feel her stomach dropping. It is unlike Gretchen to act anything but cool.

_They had better not touched a single hair of the baby's head._

Gretchen looks at the floor for a moment and then points at a balcony high over their heads.

"The Mother Confessor asked to be taken to your rooms." It is said in a voice merely a notch above a whisper, but Cara catches the words anyway.

After the night Kahlan visited her, Cara had ordered that everyone in the Palace should follow Kahlan's orders as if they were hers. She trusts Kahlan completely and she had _not_  been happy with the Dragon Corp guards that had kept Kahlan waiting outside her chambers.

Cara looks up, Darken Rahl's rooms are diagonally across from where they are standing.

There is a dense, dark cloud of smoke rising out of the balcony. Cara blinks for a second, uncomprehending. Then it hits her. The rooms are on fire!

She is running before she can process the thought completely. If Kahlan is in her rooms and they are on fire, she could be in danger.

The thought upsets her. Everyone is replaceable, but somehow, that has never been true for the Mother Confessor. Her life has always seemed much more valuable than anyone else's.

She makes it to her chambers as fast as she can, which she is annoyed to recognize, is not very fast at all; her heart nearly beating out of her chest.

"Kahlan!" she shouts as soon as she is close. She would be embarrassed about the urgency she hears in her own voice, but she cannot process anything pass the lump in her throat at the thought of harm coming to Kahlan.

She needn't have worried. Kahlan is not in danger.

She is standing calmly in the outer room, a number of steps away from the doors that lead to her personal chambers, which are currently open wide. Kahlan is dressed in her white dress, hands clasped in front of her, shoulders relaxed, chin high. She looks very much like the Mother Confessor.

A number of people from the Palace staff, as well as soldiers, are working to put out the fire, going through the doors, carrying buckets of water.

Vaguely, Cara notices that a bell has started ringing somewhere in the courtyard, rising the fire alarm across the Palace. She does not know what to do, so she just stands there, breathing hard, frowning. She has to quell the impulse to touch Kahlan, to make sure she is really there and all right.

Kahlan takes the time to study Cara, too.

They make a strange pair. Standing there looking at each other in quiet regard, whilst chaos breaks out around them, with people shouting and moving in and out of the room.

They have not seen each other since that night, in the balcony. When Kahlan had kissed Cara, and Cara, stupidly, had just stood there, trembling as if that was the first time she had been kissed like that.

And just maybe, it  _had_  been.

Cara is the first one to break out of their mutual trance. Her eyes fix on Kahlan's face as she notices a dark smudge on her left cheekbone, probably soot from the fire. She struggles with herself for a moment, but then, before she can over think this, she bites off her glove and reaches up, moving her fingers over Kahlan's face, removing the grit with her thumb. Kahlan blinks in surprise, but then, she smiles and leans into the touch.

Cara removes her hand quickly, pulling it into a fist and only just stopping herself from hiding it behind her back, like a child holding a sweet.

"You had some dirt on your cheek," Cara almost bites off the words as she looks down and fumbles with the glove, trying to put it back on.

Kahlan regards her. She looks past everything this woman means to her and  _sees_  her. She frowns slightly. Cara looks thinner than she should and she is still breathing hard from the run up the stairs. She looks like she has dropped weight she could hardly spare in the last few days. She definitely looks better than she did when Kahlan last saw her, though.

She reaches for Cara's hand before she can put the glove back on and presses her naked fingers for a second.

Cara has soft hands.

It makes Kahlan blush slightly. She has been thinking about Cara's hands a lot more than she probably should recently.

"You look a bit better." Kahlan murmurs as she lets her eyes move up and down Cara's body, her gaze halting somewhat to stare at places south of Cara's eyes. Cara is already back to her red leathers. They fit her.

Then, Kahlan turns her face to the door for a second, looking at the flames licking at the far wall, which is panelled in dark timber decorated with intricate carvings. Cara also turns her body slightly towards the door.

"I took care of it, Cara," Kahlan says softly.

Cara can only stand there, brow scrunched up.

_She took care of it?_

It is a good thing she has never tried to understand Kahlan, because she figures it would take her a whole life and then, most of her time in the underworld to get a basic understanding of how her mind works.

Cara rises her eyebrows in confusion, but Kahlan just gives her one of those compassionate looks that make Cara's head hurt. Then, she reaches across, putting her hand on Cara's forearm, and looks straight into her eyes.

She knows that touching Cara like this, like she did the other night, is getting to the Mord'Sith. Cara is not any good at hiding her reactions to the Mother Confessor's touch. Maybe she is playing with fire, but Kahlan is not above using any and all strategies if they help make things right between them.

"I have missed you," Kahlan says. A breath, then, "we should talk." Cara does nothing for a second, but finally, she nods slightly and drops her eyes to the floor, letting some of her blonde hair cover her face. Kahlan lowers her own face a bit to catch Cara's eye again and gives her a small smile. "I will be with Sonia. Come by when you are done here?" Kahlan asks.

Cara smiles, torn between resignation and amusement. She shrugs her shoulders minutely. "It is not like I have elsewhere to go, now," she says as she nods towards the fire destroying her room, rolling her eyes gently at the darker woman.

Kahlan nods, somewhat amused herself. She regards Cara in silence for a long moment, trying to open herself, to let Cara see everything that she feels for her. It is obvious for anyone who cares to look at all, but she knows Cara can be stubbornly oblivious sometimes. So, she  _shows_  her. She leans forward and presses a lingering kiss to the corner of her mouth, catching quite a bit of her plump bottom lip.

Cara closes her eyes and lets out a tiny whimper. It is a ridiculous sound and she would be mortified if this was not Kahlan.

She opens her eyes slowly, blinking quickly and staring at Kahlan, a self-deprecating smile covering her face. Kahlan gives her one last look, and then, walks in the direction Cara came from, letting her fingers run down Cara's arm as she moves past and away from her.

Cara watches her go, enjoying the tiny sting from the soft touch of Kahlan's lips on her own busted lip.

Then, she turns to the door, joining those trying to put out the fire.

xxx

When Cara can finally go into the room, hours later, she surveys the extent of the damage. It looks like the fire started in the bed; that is where most of the damage is, but the whole room is affected, blackened out by the fire, with almost an inch of water covering the floor.

She shakes her head in amazement.

Darken Rahl's rooms are destroyed entirely.

She cannot stop the feral smile that takes over her whole face for a moment.

xxx

Gretchen pulls some more warm water into her bath.

There is no way Cara is going to see Kahlan or the baby without having a bath and changing her leathers first.

There is a room on the opposite side of the sitting room that connects to Kahlan's rooms, and that is where she has chosen to stay. There are a number of other places in the Palace she could have moved to, of course. She is not fooling herself on this point, but if she is no longer staying at Darken Rahl's rooms, this is where she knows she should be, as close to Kahlan and her daughter as she can, in case they need protecting.

She has avoided thinking about him, but she knows it is also what Richard would want of her. She does not bother with what she herself wants, because that is, and has always been, mostly irrelevant when it comes to her duty.

This room is completely different from Darken's. It has a narrow window on the east side, a bed and a rather large fireplace opposite it. A colourful chest, two chairs and a skin rug of some kind spread out in front of the fireplace complete the room's furniture. It is maybe one fifth of the size of Darken's room. Cara thinks the air in this part of the Palace must be cleaner, because she feels more relaxed and clearer headed than she has in a while. Perhaps, she is just taking deeper breaths now that she is out of his room.

The basin where she is bathing normally sits in the corner of the room, but now, Gretchen has moved it closer to the fire, to help keep Cara warm. It has been a cold day and now that the sun has set, the temperature is going down quickly. Gretchen is worried for the blonde woman. She has not been eating properly and, to be truthful, she looks at the end of her rope.

Not that Gretchen would mention such a notion to the Mord'Sith, of course.

"Care to explain, Gretchen?," Cara drawls.

For a moment, Gretchen pales. In the span of a week, she feels like she has reverted back to the woman she was five winters ago, when she was afraid of Cara and stuttered through her sentences.

"Forgive me, please. I- I talked too much." She shifts on her feet. "I explained to-, to the Mother Confessor, that your rooms used to be Darken Rahl's and she asked me to bring to her presence someone that had been at the Palace during his rule."

She dares a quick look at Cara, who is still scrubbing herself firmly, trying to get rid of all the grime from the fire. "You told me to do everything she asked." It sounds like an attempt at an excuse for whatever is coming next, but Cara just nods. It is true that she told Gretchen as much. She stands by that decision. Whatever Kahlan wants, she shall have.

"I brought Kenneth, the old man from the stables? He was born here in the Palace," Gretchen explains.

Cara nods, she knows Kenneth.

"The Mother Confessor… she interrogated him." Gretchen swallows, concern written all over her face. "It is impossible to keep the truth from her."

Cara knows this. Even for her, it is nearly impossible to keep things from Kahlan, and she knows Confessors cannot read Mord'Siths.

Gretchen finally gets around to telling Cara what she wants to know.

"And he… He told her that you had another child in that room, many seasons ago." The last bit is said in a rush. "That you-, that you and Darken-," she stops. She doesn't think she needs to explain that part.

"And then, the Mother Confessor, she-,"

 _She took care of it._ Cara thinks.

Gretchen is not looking at Cara as she speaks. She takes a bucket full of warm water that she has been heating on the fireplace and moves towards the basin. "She was not pleased to learn that. Her eyes-. I swear they went black for a second. I- I was afraid and I-," she risks another glance at Cara, but the Mord'Sith is no longer paying attention.

Cara is looking behind her shoulder; at the door.

Gretchen turns around slowly. There is only one person that could be standing there and not had been ordered out of the room by Cara already.

The Mother Confessor stands just inside the door. She is looking at Cara.

"Gretchen, you must be tired. If you don't mind, I will help Cara with her bath." It is clearly a dismissal. Kahlan smiles slightly at the older woman as she finishes speaking. She has caught the end of the conversation and does not want to scare her any further.

She  _might_  have been in a tiny bit of a fury earlier when she went to Darken's rooms.

Gretchen nods curtly and puts the bucket full of warm water back on the floor, "as you wish, my lady."

She closes the door behind her and heads straight for the kitchen.

She needs to drink something strong.

Right this minute.

xxx

Kahlan approaches the basin somewhat haltingly. She takes a moment to regard Cara; she is mostly submerged in not-really-see-through soapy water.

Kahlan lets out a breath she did not know she had been holding. Truthfully, completely clear water may have been too much for her. What is already visible: Cara's arms, her knees, her slim neck, her chest and the top of her full breasts is more than enough to cause Kahlan's blood to boil. She is sure she is sporting a full body blush, but her hands are steady as she reaches down for the bucket.

"More water?" Kahlan asks in a slightly hoarse voice.

Cara looks at her as she nods and then, submerges her head in the water, emerging just a moment later, tilting her head slightly back. It is as seductive a move as can be. Kahlan thinks she may have done it on purpose; to throw Kahlan off, to regain the upper hand. Cara blinks her eyes open and regards the confessor silently. A smile starts to spread over her lips as she notices Kahlan's obvious discomfort and her appreciation over Cara's state of undress.

This, Cara knows. This part, she is good at.

There is a choice here, and it is Kahlan's.

She can let Cara turn this into a seduction, she can let herself be seduced. She knows she would be welcome if she tried to get her hands on the Mord'Sith. Cara would let her touch her. It is written all over her face. In a way, she has always known. Sex is not something Cara is afraid of. It is intimacy that may be an issue. Kahlan can feel a pulse start to beat insistently between her legs, liquid fire gathering in her centre as a sweet, languid warmth spreads over her limbs at the thought of finally, _finally_  getting to feel Cara's naked skin under her, on her lips, over her.

But, miraculously, she reigns herself in.

She pours the whole bucket of water on top of Cara's head in one quick move.

Cara sputters water and blinks her eyes furiously, rubbing at them and pushing hair out of her face; when she can finally open them, green eyes fix on Kahlan's face as she looks at her like she has gone mad. "Kahlan!" she cries in indignation.

"Cara!" Kahlan says in a similar voice, and suddenly, they are both laughing.

Well, Kahlan is, Cara just rolls her eyes and tries to hide a smile.

Somehow, it is the right thing to do. It brings both of them back from the edge of a precipice they are not ready to tumble into just yet. It makes them remember everything they already are to each other, against all odds: allies, friends, companions.

Whatever lies ahead cannot change that.

When Kahlan reaches for a towel and holds it up for Cara, there is nothing sexual about it. And when Cara stands, Kahlan  _almost_  manages to not even look down. Not for so long that Cara may think she is staring at her breasts and below, anyway. But long enough that Cara has to hold on to the sides of the basin for a moment to steady herself.

Kahlan turns around when Cara starts to dry herself, giving her some privacy. Cara just rolls her eyes at the other woman's foolishness. Cara does not mind Kahlan's eyes on her body. Quite the contrary. It is the times Kahlan reaches through skin and bones that Cara has a problem with.

"Kahlan," she murmurs the name when she is dressed in the long shirt Gretchen left out for her. She cannot put her leathers back on; they stink of smoke and sweat from before.

Kahlan turns around and smiles at her for a moment. There is a bit of a draft in the room and Cara shivers visibly. Standing like that, in just a nightshirt, barefoot, Cara is half a head shorter than Kahlan. She looks younger, softer. The poor lightning, coming from some candles behind them, casts Cara in half-shadows and lets Kahlan see far more of her than Cara may be aware of showing.

She looks beautiful.

But the relaxation from the bath, the warmth coming from the fire, from the woman standing in front of her, combined with the exhaustion of all the events of this past week takes its toll. Cara starts to feel the weariness she has been fighting. Her eyelids grow heavy, and for a moment, she thinks she may fall sleep standing up.

"Come to bed, Cara." Kahlan says. "We can talk tomorrow," with that, she grabs Cara's hand, intertwining their fingers and pulling the Mord'Sith gently behind her by the arm. That Cara does not drop her hand speaks volumes to Kahlan.

They walk through the sitting room and into Kahlan's room. Kahlan lets go of Cara and pushes her lightly by the shoulder, towards the bed.

Cara does not protest.

This is where she wants to be.

Where she has always wanted to be.

She just crawls into the large bed, and sleeps.

xxx

 

CHAPTER V

Kahlan lets Cara sleep undisturbed for most of the night.

She sits on one of the chairs by the fireplace, turning it around so that she faces the bed. In sleep, Cara looks younger, more relaxed, free from the intensity that seems to permeate her every word and move when she is awake.

Kahlan thinks about what just happened in the other room. About Cara in the bath,  _rising_  from the basin, water sliding down her body. It had made her heart lurch in her chest and start beating faster than she can ever recall. Faster than in battle.

She has always considered the Mord'Sith extremely beautiful, but she never allowed herself to truly appreciate it. Not in the way that she is doing now, when she allows herself to enjoy the memory of Cara's naked skin, sending chills up and down her spine. Possibly, at first, it was because of some misplaced jealousy. But, certainly, later, she had refrained from consciously noticing because the coveting, the pining for what she could never had would have been entirely too painful.

Cara mumbles something in her sleep and turns around in the bed.

It makes Kahlan smile.

It is perhaps silly, but in a way, she feels like she is keeping guard over something precious. There was a certain fragility in how Cara let herself be led by the hand just a candle mark ago; in how she allowed Kahlan to push her towards the bed. In how she let Kahlan touch her, kiss her, earlier that day, that week.

Cara's whole behaviour since Zedd and herself arrived to the People's Palace has thrown her off slightly. She is not sure what she had expected, but she realises that, for all she knows about Cara, there is a lot she does not know. There are gaps she has filled over the years with her own imaginings. It has been many winters since they travelled together, and it is conceivable that the time apart has changed them both in small ways, although she is glad to notice that on a large scale, it has not changed them that much.

Cara remains the fiercest, most obstinate person Kahlan has ever met.

Kahlan thinks she should be irritated with Cara for her reckless behaviour, for her stubbornness.

For her silence.

She shakes her head.

If anyone is guilty of silence, it is Kahlan herself.

She is the one that should have talked. She knows this. The weight of conversation was, and will always be, on her shoulders. It is not Cara's way: to talk about things.

About  _feelings_.

But even so, Cara had very eloquently said that Richard, Zedd and herself were the ones that  _forced_  this on her. And she had been right too, Kahlan acknowledges. Perhaps they did it inadvertently, but just the same: Sonia had certainly not been in Cara's plans.

Kahlan smiles when she thinks about the tiny brunette. Her daughter.  _Their_  daughter. She knows it is entirely possible that she is too thrilled to be here with Cara, to have a daughter with this beautiful, complicated woman to think rationally about any downsides just yet. But the truth of this spell speaks too loudly, too clearly of things yet unsaid between them. And Kahlan can feel it beating under her skin, like a pulse, this feeling, this  _knowledge_  of what they have created together. It has opened the doors to a life she never dared imagine.

And now, Kahlan finds it impossible to envision her existence without Cara in it.

Not when there is Sonia.

So she sits, guarding Cara's sleep, and considers the future, the past. These last few weeks, since finding out about Cara's pregnancy, and then, seeing Sonia for the first time, she has thought about many things. But mostly, about choices past. She has come to regret some of her decisions, to see some things in an entirely different light.

She wants to talk to her younger self. To prevent herself from losing all this time, from stretching both their hopes this thin.

But it is a futile exercise. There is no past, no future. Only this moment. An endless instant that she now gets to share with Cara.

It is enough.

Just before dawn, she finally slips into the large bed, careful not to disturb Cara. Being so close to the other woman invites an immediate flush of heat to travel up, and yes, mostly  _down_  her body. The vision of Cara, wet and naked, from just a few hours ago, comes back to her... although maybe, in all truthfulness, it never left her: she thinks it might be burned in her mind.

As she regards the other woman wishfully, she wishes she insisted she help Cara dry herself.

She feels like the horny teenager she never allowed herself to be.

If Cara loves her, surely,  _surely_... but she stops herself. She grasps onto that fantasy before she can breathe life into it, before it can soar.

It is too much to even consider theoretically. She fears that if she invokes the words, if she forms them in her head even just once, they will gain power over her, enslave her with the wanting that must surely follow. This is her gift, her burden. And carrying it with her, in her, for so long, it has endowed her with the ability to rule over her desires, her thoughts, to the point of stopping them from even forming.

Even so, for a moment, she is tempted to reach out and touch Cara, but she refrains.

Perhaps later.

xxx

Cara does not even stir for a few candle marks.

When she finally wakes, she feels disoriented for a second. This is not Darken's bed, nor her cot in the barracks, so it takes her a moment to remember the where and why of this morning.

She turns around stealthily, trying not to make the bed shift.

She is sharing it with Kahlan.

Just the thought sends needles piercing through her chest. It also starts a dull ache in her nether regions. She rolls her eyes at herself. But being wet and aching around Kahlan is something that Cara can dismiss from her mind with ease. It is very much like having blonde hair: it just  _is_.

The Confessor sleeps with her back to Cara, almost an arm's width of white linen between them.

It makes Cara frown for a second. She should not have put Kahlan in this room. The bed is much,  _much_  too large.

A knock on the door startles her out of her musings. Three maids enter swiftly, their hands busy with trays filled with food, beverages and a small table that they place between the chairs in front of the fire. They set the table without making a sound, whilst one of them stokes the fire and adds some more wood to it. Cara silently nods her approval. This time of the year, the mornings are cold in the Palace and she would hate for Kahlan to be uncomfortable. She is a guest of Lord Rahl after all.

Cara notices the young girls' shock at finding her in bed with the Mother Confessor. It is obvious from their body language, but they are well trained, their eyes do not stray towards the bed, and just as quietly as they arrived, they leave the room, closing the door behind them.

But something has changed about the room. They have brought with them the new day.

It is time to get moving.

Cara looks towards Kahlan and realises the other woman is now awake, raising herself up slightly against the pillows and trying to tame her wild locks somewhat. Not that she would admit it, but Cara loves Kahlan's hair. It is thick and lustrous and not something she should really think about. Not when there are important matters of state to consider, she has emissaries from the North coming to visit today and she will need to be sharp and patient with them. She is not concerned about her sharpness, her patience though, is a different matter altogether.

Cara does not excel at patience.

"Good morning," Kahlan yawns around the words. She has not slept for that long, but she feels rested and happy to wake up next to the Mord'Sith. It feels righter than all the previous mornings of this new life she has embarked on, but also, of the life she has left behind.

Cara nods curtly. It is a good morning. She raises from the bed and moves towards the table. Seeing the food has made her realise how hungry she is. She is pleased to note that her appetite is back. In fact, she feels ravenous and more like herself than she has felt in months. She grabs some cold meat and warm bread and starts eating.

Kahlan just looks at her for moment and then, she also raises from the bed.

"I am going to check on Sonia for a moment." Kahlan says as she moves towards the door that connects with the nursery.

Kahlan stays away only for a few minutes, but when she comes back, the room is empty: Cara is gone. But she is only wearing her shift so Kahlan knows she cannot have made it far. She checks the outer room and notices that the door from the room across is ajar. When she enters that room, she finds the blonde Mord'Sith, just as she expected. She is already wearing her leathers and is in the process of putting on her boots.

"Cara, why did you leave?" Kahlan asks softly as soon as she crosses the threshold. She would rather not play this game of cat and mouse, but she is nowhere near the point where she would declare herself tired of it. She can feel it in herself: where Cara runs, she will follow.

"I had to get dressed," Cara explains with a shrug, pointing at her meagre belongings by the bed. "This is my room."

"You have  _no_  room right now." Kahlan says with authority, and perhaps, something like mischief enters her eyes for a second. She certainly made sure of that yesterday. "You have a place in the Palace, Cara," she waits until the Mord'Sith looks at her, "with us," she motions vaguely with her hand towards the door and her own room.

They stare at each other for a long time after that.

It is a battle of wills of some kind.

Surprisingly, Cara is the first one to blink. She turns her eyes towards the floor. She looks upset at herself for this small defeat.

Kahlan just takes the opportunity to turn around, grab Cara's things in one hand and Cara's arm in the other and virtually drag Cara behind her, back to her room.

Cara is not sure when she became this woman. Someone that lets the Mother Confessor manhandle her like this. She is also not entirely certain, but she thinks she hears Kahlan mutter something about Cara "better not making her burn down any more rooms in the Palace."

And so, it is settled.

She is to stay at Kahlan's.

She has slept at far worse places.

xxx

Kahlan deposits the small bag with Cara's belongings on one of the chairs by the fire. From the brief peak she sneaked into it, it seems that it only contains a spare set of leathers and some toiletries.

She shakes her head in amazement that this is all Cara has accumulated in her years in the Palace. Then, another thought comes to her.

"Cara, did you lose your possessions in the fire?" she asks with some remorse. She is not sorry for what she did, but she hopes nothing valuable was lost in the fire.

Cara tilts her head slightly to the side as she asks, "possessions?"

"Well, yes. I mean, is this all you have?" Kahlan asks, pointing at the bag.

"Yes," Cara manages to enunciate the word in a way that conveys her confusion at the question.

Kahlan looks at her for a long moment, and then, just smiles. "Good," she says.

Just as she thought. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Beth, one of the girls that help with the care of Sonia chooses that moment to come into the room with the little girl, handing the baby to Kahlan, who hugs her to her chest and kisses her, humming softly to the baby. After a moment, Kahlan turns her eyes to find Cara watching them intently.

"Cara, since you are going to stay with us," Kahlan pauses a second, giving Cara her best Mother Confessor stare. Cara only raises one of her eyebrows slightly. "I have conditions."

"You have conditions," Cara repeats.

"I do." A slight pause. "Two, in fact."

Cara crosses her arms over her chest and cants her hips slightly forward. She purses her lips and waits to hear these... conditions.

"One," Kahlan points with her chin towards Cara's chest, where her arms are resting. "No gloves in this room."

Cara raises her eyebrows in mild surprise, but says nothing for a moment. Then, she uncrosses her arms and regards her own hands thoughtfully. After a small pause, she shrugs, rolls her eyes at Kahlan, and removes the gloves, placing them on her belt.

"Fine." Cara says. The gloves are part of her armour, but it is a small concession she can make, particularly, if it means she may get to touch the confessor's skin at some point.

Kahlan gives her a bright smile and moves slightly closer. She is almost invading Cara's personal space now, the baby cradled carefully against her shoulder and chest. Cara holds her ground although she is tempted to step back. She is not fond of standing this close to people, unless it is for good reason. Namely, for battle or sex. In both circumstances, closeness is a decided advantage.

"Two," Kahlan smiles in a way that lets Cara know she is not going to like this condition at all. "You have to kiss us hello and goodbye."

Cara's mouth opens to form a silent 'oh.' Then, she purses her lips and turns around, her back to Kahlan and Sonia. She takes a long step away from them, but then, she stops, shoulders tense, hands balling into fists. She is not sure what she planned to do when she turned around, but she is  _not_  leaving the room.

She is Mord'Sith. She is not afraid of anything.

If Kahlan is challenging her, she will not run from this.

She turns around and stares at Kahlan, eyebrows scrunched up together, lips tight.

"If that is too much for you, maybe  _we_  can do the kissing." Kahlan says and winks at her.

 _Winks_  at her.

It makes Cara frown even harder.

Kahlan is teasing. She has been enjoying her interactions with Cara immensely. It is unfair of her, she knows, but the little baby in her arms is proof beyond doubt that she is not taking any liberties. That she is not making any unwanted advances. She is certain of what she feels, of what Cara feels. And although she would not mind if Cara kissed her, she actually means just to tease gently.

But, it is a mistake: Kahlan should have known better. As it is always the case with the Mord'Sith, anyone daring to challenge her had better walk the walk, as well as talk the talk.

Cara advances on Kahlan with a determined look on her face. She kisses Sonia first: just a brush of her generous lips against the soft head of the baby. It makes Kahlan smile tenderly at Cara.

But the tenderness does not last long, because just as she moves her lips away from Sonia, Cara grabs Kahlan around the waist and pulls the darker woman against her own body, careful to angle her so that there is space and the baby is not squeezed between them.

Her grip is sure and strong, and Cara's touch burns Kahlan's skin through their clothing. Kahlan can feel where her arm is pressed against Cara's soft breast, where Cara's hand is grabbing her firmly around the waist, her thumb slightly caressing. Kahlan is only wearing her night shift and for a second, she feels almost naked, captured by Cara's hungry stare.

It makes Kahlan's whole body tremble. Her knees wobble and she is suddenly glad to be leaning against Cara's strong body.

She gasps in surprise at her body's reaction.

The gasp is her second mistake though, because suddenly, Cara's lips are on her, caressing, touching, prodding. Her tongue reaches between Kahlan's lips, kissing her firmly. If there is something Cara is proficient at, it is this. Kahlan cannot remember ever being kissed like this. With such passion, such purpose. Before she has time to think, she is moaning into the kiss, opening her lips even more to the Mord'Sith, returning Cara's kisses sloppily, eagerly, trying to get her own tongue into Cara's mouth.

It is passionate and wonderful and it nearly makes Kahlan forget herself. It last for what feels like minutes, and even so, Kahlan thinks it is entirely too short. After a while, Cara softens her kisses and finally, bites lightly on her bottom lip before she draws back.

She regards Kahlan with a satisfied smirk on her face, feeling the trembling that has taken over Kahlan's body, the panting. She is supporting quite a bit of Kahlan's weight. She raises her other arm to encircle Kahlan and the baby more securely.

"Don't let go." Kahlan asks in a breathless whisper.

She _is_  worried she may topple over. But somehow, after the words leave her lips, she realises that they convey her heart most truthful plea.

She lets her head rest on Cara's shoulder for a moment, her nose nuzzling against Cara's neck, her soft hair, lips brushing softly against Cara's warm skin. For once, with Cara on her ridiculously impractical high-heeled boots, and Kahlan still barefoot, the Mord'Sith is slightly taller than she is. She blushes as she realises how much she really likes Cara's dominant, powerful side, the feel of her strong arms around her. She inhales deeply, trying to catch her breath, but it is difficult: Cara's scent makes its way into her brain and she laughs for a moment, filled to overflow with the joy of this moment.

She pulls back before she starts crying and Cara decides she is never kissing her again if that is the reaction she is getting.

Cara takes a small step back but does not let go until she feels Kahlan is sufficiently steady on her feet.

"Goodbye," Cara says and regards her quietly.

Kahlan just blushes. "Come back tonight," she asks.

Cara nods. Then, she turns around and leaves.

Kahlan stands in the middle of the room for a long time after the Mord'Sith leaves, touching her swollen lips and smiling like an idiot.

xxx

Later that night, Kahlan convinces Cara to lay down in the big bed in her chambers while she helps with Sonia's bath.

Kahlan knows that Cara is reluctant to involve herself with Sonia's care so she does not insist that Cara joins her. In this, she is willing to give Cara as much time and space as she needs. After all, they are in this for life. There is no rush and she has already noticed the power Sonia has over herself. She is in no doubt that Sonia holds a similar power over the Mord'Sith. It is but a question of time that Cara goes to Sonia.

If she needs proof of it, she only has to remember what happened a candle mark ago: when she came back from her duties that evening, Cara  _had_  abided by Kahlan's conditions. She was not wearing her gloves and she kissed them both hello.

To Kahlan's slight chagrin, they both got twin, chaste, kisses on the cheek.

Kahlan would have wanted more for herself, of course, but she refrains from saying anything. She can tell from the look on Cara's eye that the Mord'Sith is perfectly aware of it. Their exchange that morning has shifted their dynamic into more equal footing, she is glad to notice.

Kahlan does not think she should do anything that will make Cara even more aware of the power she has over her. It is yet another thing she is willing to let Cara discover for herself.

When she comes back to the room after putting Sonia to sleep for a few hours, she gets into bed with Cara, but this time, she does not stay on the other side of the bed. In fact, she gets into bed from Cara's side, pushing at the Mord'Sith until she makes enough room for her. Cara sighs and makes some huffing noises to show Kahlan her displeasure at what she is doing, but lets her get away with it just the same.

When she finally settles, Kahlan puts her arm around the blonde woman, kissing her soft cheek and pressing herself fully against Cara's side. Their legs sliding and tangling together under the covers.

Cara is warm and soft and rounded in all the right places.

They  _fit_  together.

She feels Cara tensing up at the full body hug she is giving her. "Kahlan," it comes out in a raspy voice.

"Shhh. Let's just sleep."

xxx

 

CHAPTER VI

"Just sleep," Cara grumbles to herself almost a candle mark later as she rolls her eyes in the dark. 

It is certainly much easier said than done.

Sarcasm is her only defence here really, given her position.

Kahlan is sleeping on  _top_  of her. Well, almost. In all the ways that count, anyway.

It is going to be a long night for Cara, with the other woman sleeping this close, limbs intertwined, bodies pressed against each other. Cara can feel Kahlan's soft breasts cushioned against her side and her chest. Cara's own nipples are tight and sensitive against the cloth covering them, one of Kahlan's hands having just made a pass over her left breast, to settle heavily on its underside.

Almost as soon as she fell asleep, Kahlan's thigh had shifted, and it now rests on top of her own. When Kahlan moved, so did Cara, in an attempt to move away and give herself some space, but her right leg was trapped under Kahlan, so she only succeeded in spreading her legs wide open, leaving room for Kahlan's knee to nudge itself into the space between them.

Kahlan had even moaned in contentment when she settled into her new position, grinding her hips in sleep and pressing into Cara's thigh.

Cara can tell that their relative positions puts pressure in some very nice areas of Kahlan's body.

Any other day, she would have laughed at Kahlan's body attempts at getting some relief in sleep, almost as if sneakily trying to get around the steely daily vigilance of the always chaste confessor.

But, truthfully, she is failing to see the humour in  _any_  of this.

There is a lot of skin touching skin, where both their shifts have ridden up as they became more tangled up in each other. She thinks that if either of their nightshirts moves any higher, she may go crazy.

It is pure torture.

Pure pleasure.

There is this huge empty space to the left of Cara. Virtually two thirds of the bed. She could slip from under Kahlan and move there. Give herself some relief and fall sleep. The state she is in, she could get herself off in no time. Cara knows this. And the knowledge only annoys her, because she realises that while it is what she should do, it is not really an option.

"Just sleep," she mumbles again. And this time,  _maybe_  she says it in a tone that mocks the Mother Confessor's inflection.

She is staying put. She is Mord'Sith. She can take pain.

And there is pain.

She can feel her pulse beating insistently between her legs, where she knows she is wet and ready. Aching for contact. She tries to remember the last time she felt this worked up and cannot really come up with a solid memory, but it is possible that Kahlan's nearness is turning her brain to mush, preventing her from thinking about anything but the pain in her centre.

She rolls her eyes in annoyance.

She cannot believe she is getting this excited by a woman who is not even  _awake_.

Cara does not want to consider how this could be going if Kahlan was actually making an effort to seduce her.

She lets out a groan at the thought.

She needs to distract herself.

She reaches with the hand that is not wrapped around Kahlan's waist and touches the confessor's dark hair. It is spread all over her chest, covering them both like a blanket. It is soft and nice to the touch. Cara lets her fingers comb through it, moving closer and closer to Kahlan's face with each stroke, until she is moving some stray hairs out of Kahlan's moist lips, pushing them behind her ear, touching her cheek lightly. Almost caressing.

At the touch, Kahlan mumbles something in her sleep and stirs again, her hand moving so that her palm now lays against Cara's responsive nipple, her hips pressing again into Cara's; more firmly this time. The move makes her nightshirt ride just a bit higher, perhaps not even an inch, but enough to make Cara lose it.

She tries to keep her breathing under control, but she can feel the hair that covers Kahlan's sex brushing against her thigh.

A whimper escapes her lips.

It is too much.

"Spirits, Kahlan," she cries out in a hoarse whisper, her hips bucking up involuntarily, trying to find purchase.

She is desperate to rub against something, anything.

That is when she feels it. Nimble, long fingers moving, sliding from her chest and down towards her centre. Touching first the inside of her thigh, where some of her wetness has spilled out, caressing the soft skin there, and then, climbing higher until they are moving through the hair at the apex of Cara's thighs.

"Kahlan," she whispers as she reaches to cover the hand promising relief, trapping it against her body, stopping it from moving.

"Just let me, Cara." Kahlan moves her head to kiss Cara's neck and cheek. She does not sound sleepy at all, in fact, she sounds like she has been awake all this time, rubbing against her and torturing Cara with her closeness. Cara is so surprised to witness this devious streak in the Mother Confessor, she lets her hand go limp on top of Kahlan's.

Kahlan moves her fingers lower, caressing Cara's outer lips, teasing first one side and then the other, letting one of her long fingers slip between her folds and into Cara's wet heat for a moment as she moves from one side to the other.

Cara hips buck at the touch, a loud moan escaping her lips.

When her hips settle back on the bed, Kahlan slips two of her fingers between Cara's legs, swirling into the wetness. She finds the tip of her clitoris almost immediately; it is so swollen with Cara's need. Cara makes a strangled sound and spreads her thighs even wider, head thrown back. She is close. So close already, she knows this is going to be embarrassingly quick, but she cannot find it in herself to care. She needs this release. She has been needing it for longer than she would admit to anyone.

When Kahlan starts rubbing her clitoris in tight, small circles, she pumps her hips into Kahlan's hand, rocking into the fingers touching her so intimately, bringing her such intense pleasure.

She comes hard and fast, hips bucking and chest rising off the bed.

Cara has experienced great pain and great pleasure in her short life; but nothing like this. Kahlan's warm hand is cupping her sex, rubbing it in a soothing way, her scent is in her nostrils, her body heavy and warm on top of hers, her mouth close to her ear, whispering Cara's name.

"Kahlan," she mumbles when she can finally speak, her arms sluggishly reaching up to hug the confessor to her chest. Her hips and legs still twitching, her inner walls still contracting from her orgasm.

"Shh. Just sleep," Kahlan says.

And this time, Cara does just that.

xxx

Just as the previous morning, Cara wakes moments before the maids enter the room to lay out their breakfast. She stays put as they set up the table and stoke the dying embers of the fire, watching them leave as quietly as they arrived.

If she is going to stay in this room, this is something that will have to change, she guesses. She cannot imagine Kahlan letting the maids come in whilst they are  _otherwise engaged_.

And Cara likes sex in the morning.

She smiles.

In the evenings, too.

She is pleased to have discovered Kahlan may have an adventurous streak in her when it comes to this.

They have both shifted during the night. Cara has moved closer to the centre of the bed and Kahlan is now lying on her other side, her back to Cara, facing the door to Sonia's room. She is not entirely sure, but she thinks Kahlan may have risen from the bed at some point to check on the baby.

Cara regards Kahlan's back for a moment, remembering what went on last night.

She smirks, reaching between her own legs. She slides her fingers a bit lower, to a place Kahlan did not touch yesterday. She is still a bit tender.

Then, she moves them back to touch her clitoris, remembering how Kahlan's fingers have felt last night. She is still wet; and now that she is thinking about Kahlan, she is immediately aware of all the places where they are touching: from shoulder to hip. Kahlan's closeness and the memory of yesterday night's activities brings a new rush of wetness between her legs. She rubs her own centre with practised fingers for a moment. The usual ache that accompanies her when she is around the Mother Confessor starting its slow, familiar beat.

She knows she could get herself off with just a few well placed strokes. It is what Kahlan's nearness does to her... but she has never really allowed herself to masturbate to visions of Kahlan. She rolls her eyes at herself. Not _often_ , anyway. But now that Kahlan is here, touching herself holds no appeal to Cara.

She turns on her side and reaches with her arm around Kahlan's middle, bringing the confessors' body flush against hers and away from the edge of the bed. Kahlan's nightshirt is around her waist and when they press together, her naked buttocks come pleasantly in contact with Cara's warm flesh.

Cara moves her thigh on top of Kahlan's, spreading herself open and settling against Kahlan's firm ass, starting a slow grind.

"Cara." The Mord'Sith had been waiting for Kahlan to acknowledge that she was awake.

Cara will not let Kahlan pull the stunt from last night on her twice. Not unless she is a willing victim, of course.

"You ambushed me last night, confessor," Cara murmurs in Kahlan's ear as she bites down lightly on her lobe, her tongue coming out to taste the skin there, sending a shiver and rising goose bumps all over Kahlan's body. She slips her hand lower on Kahlan's belly, keeping her steady as she grinds into her ass from behind, finding a rhythm.

"Cara, I-."

But Cara is lost to the sensual overload of rubbing herself against Kahlan. She sneaks her other hand under Kahlan's body, reaching to cup a full breast, rubbing the nipple with her palm and pulling Kahlan even tighter against her body as she rocks her hips and pants into her ear. Her movements becoming jerky.

She intends to tease, to drive the Mother Confessor crazy with want, to caress her until she is begging Cara for release.

To exact revenge for last night.

But she miscalculates. She does not take into account her body's own reaction to the feel of Kahlan next to her, between her legs, under her lips. It should not be enough, just rubbing herself against Kahlan in this way, but when Kahlan reaches with her left arm around them and grabs Cara's ass, nails digging painfully into her flesh, pushing her hips into Kahlan's, she finds a quick release against the Mother Confessor, groaning loudly.

She hugs Kahlan to herself for a long moment after that, trembling, half in shock, half in amazement.

Nothing is how she expected.

Not that she ever expected  _this_.

When her breathing goes back to normal, she moves slightly back and forces Kahlan on her back.

They regard each other thoughtfully, gazes meeting. Kahlan's eyes are swirling with black. Cara is glad to see she is not the only one that can be brought to the brick of orgasm just by rubbing slightly against the other woman.

In one swift move, Cara gets rid of her shift, throwing it to the floor by the bed and lying back next to Kahlan, completely naked. She reaches for the hem of Kahlan's shift, which is bunched up around her waist. She nudges Kahlan until she relents and allows Cara to rid her of her nightshirt.

Cara takes a moment to look at Kahlan, at her milky white skin. Her freckles. She is stunning.

Kahlan blinks her eyes slowly, looking up at Cara shyly. They are back to her normal blue.

She opens her mouth to say something, but before she can, Cara lies fully on top of her. She lowers herself carefully, not to crush Kahlan under her. She reaches between their bodies, expertly manipulating Kahlan's sex so that when she settles, Kahlan can feel all of Cara on her. Kahlan tenses up and tries to pull away, but Cara is already moving against her, breathing in her scent, kissing her everywhere she can reach; her eyes, her nose, her mouth, her cheeks, her ears, her neck, her throat. She is trusting into Kahlan, her fingers roaming over the soft skin of her chest, her sides, her thighs and hips, pushing her legs further open. Spreading her to Cara's touch.

Kahlan can only lie there, panting.  _Feeling_. She has wanted this for years. Perhaps for as long as she has known the other woman. And the reality far surpasses any possible imaginings.

When Cara moves one of her hands to squeeze Kahlan's nipple, her whole body thrums, and when Cara's mouth descends on it, biting lightly, she almost comes, arching off the bed.

Kahlan feels the dangerous, early tingles of orgasm starting at her centre, her magic gathering, ready to burst forward.

It frightens her. What could come next. What she could do to Cara.

Body tense, Kahlan tries to calm down, to slow her breathing. She reaches to stop Cara's hand against her breast, trapping it there. Cara feels the thundering of the heart beating underneath.

"Cara. I- I will confess you," she whispers brokenly.

Cara moves her hand from under Kahlan's grip and grabs her hip, frowning slightly.

"Don't be absurd, Kahlan." It comes out in a voice made rough by desire.

And with that, she lets her hand slide over Kahlan's stomach. Her fingers slipping between drenched folds, finding Kahlan's clit and stroking it with a sure hand, making Kahlan buck and tremble. Then, she lets the fingers slide down, lower. She looks into Kahlan's eyes as she slides first one, then two of her fingers inside. Cara wants to prolong this. She intends to go down on Kahlan, to kiss and lick every inch of her skin, to taste her  _everywhere_ , but there is no time. It takes only a few strokes of Cara's sure hand before Kahlan is coming with a loud moan, releasing her magic, whispering Cara's name over and over and over again. Almost like a prayer.

Cara is, of course, not confessed.

If she can give Kahlan a child across time and space, confession has nothing on her.

xxx

When Kahlan's eyes go back to their normal blue, she reaches up and hugs Cara to her, holding her against her body, wrapping herself around Cara and turning them around, so that they are lying side by side on the large bed.

Kahlan hides her face in the space between Cara's neck and shoulder and makes a sound that sounds suspiciously like a sob. "Forgive me?" She asks in a rough voice.

"For what?" Cara does not think there is anything to forgive.

"For this," and then, she just lays there for the longest time, embracing her tightly and Cara fears, crying.

xxx

When they finally get out of bed, they go in search of Sonia. There are things Cara has to do in the Palace, but they can wait. She can take Kahlan to Sonia, and then, go find Gretchen and see to her daily duties.

Beth is with the baby in the winter room, in an area of the Palace, facing south, where the windows are significantly larger and a lot of sun gets in through the day. It is the warmer room in the Palace.

On their way there, Cara nonchalantly tries to start a conversation about how too much sun must surely be bad for such a tiny baby, but she is not sure if Kahlan is listening. When they get there, she swears there is a ghost of freckles on her daughter's nose. It puts an immediate scowl on her face, and she glares at Beth until the poor girl puts Sonia back in the crib and cowers all the way to the corner where she keeps the baby's things, trying to hide from the Mord'Sith angry stare.

Kahlan just watches in amusement and goes to the girl, trying to stop her from crying. She sends her to the kitchen to calm down and drink some water.

While Kahlan has her back to Cara, she moves to the crib and surreptitiously rubs her finger over the skin of the baby's nose. She is happy to see she was wrong.

No freckles.

 _Yet_ , anyway.

She frowns.

She needs to be serious about this. Sonia will have  _no_  freckles.

"Cara." Kahlan says in that tone Cara associates with Kahlan's  _feelings talks_. She hopes she can get out of this one, so she just ignores Kahlan and moves slightly to the side. Her hand casually moving to her belt and away from Sonia.

"Cara." It makes Cara sigh. Something tells her she has grossly underestimated Kahlan's nagging abilities.

This time she makes a noise to imply that she is listening.

"Why were you rubbing her nose." Cara cringes. Her back still to Kahlan.

 _Busted_.

Playing the fool is probably the only way out. "I was doing no such thing," she says in what she hopes is an indignant voice, and she manages to sound almost truthful. Hopefully, if she keeps her back to Kahlan, she will not be able to read her.

"Yes, you were," Kahlan says as she approaches from behind. She stands next to Cara, by the baby's crib, both of them looking down at Sonia. Then, Kahlan reaches out and embraces Cara's waist with her arm, turning her body into the Mord'Sith, pressing into her side. Cara thinks she could get used to this, when they are alone. She turns her head slightly towards Kahlan and the Mother Confessor rewards her with a kiss on the cheek.

"She doesn't have freckles," there is laughter in Kahlan's voice.

"She'd better not," Cara mutters. Annoyed to be so easily read.

"Are you saying you don't like my freckles, Cara?" Kahlan's eyes twinkle as she asks. She has caught Cara's eyes on their journey up her shoulder and down her cleavage enough times to know the Mord'Sith does not particularly mind them.

Cara knows that, sometimes, silence is the better part of courage.

xxx

That night, they dine with the wizard at Kahlan's insistence. Cara would had much preferred they call it a  _really_  early night.

Cara eats with a healthy appetite, but of course, that just means that she eats one third of what the wizard puts away. Where it all goes remains a mystery to Cara.

They discuss many things, and Cara stays mostly out of the conversation, content to just watch Kahlan talk to the wizard. That is, until the conversation turns to Aydindril's summer solstice celebrations, and Kahlan animatedly starts to plan with Zedd what they will do for this year's.

It is still winter, and months from that date, but it tells Cara that the Mother Confessor will eventually have to return to Aydindril.

Sonia is a confessor too. She will also need to be in Aydindril.

It is obvious and efficient that they should both be there instead of here, but it upsets Cara to the point that she rises from the table and moves towards the balcony, in need of fresh air.

Kahlan makes to rise after her, but Zedd shakes his head. "Let me," he says.

These two, they are like his children.

He has observed all of them through the years: Richard, Kahlan, and Cara. He loves them dearly.

He knew of Cara's feelings for Kahlan. And also, of course, of Kahlan's feelings for Cara. But there was always Richard, and their quest. And then, Cara had settled at the Palace, and Richard and Kahlan at Aydindril, and he had thought they could have it all. That they could all be happy like that.

He had been wrong. To let things be. To not force them to see what was in front of them.

He does not plan to make the same mistake twice.

He did not tell Kahlan at the time, but when he realised the spell had worked and Kahlan's stomach remained flat week after week, he had simply known there was only one other person in all the Midlands and D'Hara that could be pregnant.

It had to be Cara.

A peace had settled over him then.

For once, magic had worked to all of their advantages.

He follows her to the balcony, approaching quietly.

"Cara," his voice is gentle. It annoys Cara.

"What do you want, Zedd?" she almost snarls.

"You know that Kahlan's place is back in Aydindril." He moves closer to her, touching her shoulder. "So is Sonia's," he says.

She moves away, shrugging the wizard's bony hand off her shoulder.

"Of course I know," she only needs a minute to rule over her stomach and various other internal organs. They are the ones that are rebelling against the facts, but she will agiel them into submission, if necessary.

"It is better if they are away from me, anyway. Sonia is a confessor. I am Mord'Sith." She says.

She does not say something else, but Zedd hears it just the same. Cara is worried that Sonia's touch could kill her. That something in her will rebel against having a Mord'Sith as a mother. That the magic that will grow inside her will push her away from Cara. That if something like that happened, it would break them all: Kahlan, Sonia and Cara.

"Cara, she will not confess you," Zedd says.

Cara flashes him a look of annoyance. "You cannot know that." She is imagining the many troubles children run into, the mischief they cause, the petty arguments with parents that could drive Sonia to confess her.

"Of course I know it. Didn't you listen when I told you about the abiogenesis spell?" he sounds mildly annoyed. Why do none of them seem to ever appreciate the greatness of his magic?

Cara rolls her eyes at the tall man. "As proficient as I am in torture, not even I could listen to you when you start rambling about magic, wizard."

He frowns at her and moves his hands to his hips, towering over her.

"Well, if you had listened to me, you would already know that she will be powerless against you, Cara." He huffs.

"What?" she frowns at the wizard.

"The abiogenesis spell. It uses the most powerful force in nature to draw its magic from." His voice almost booms around the words.

"Don't give me that trite stuff about love again." She says.

He grabs her by the shoulders then. His arms firm, and his eyes gentle. Cara's hand goes to her agiels almost automatically. It is an effort not to use one of them on the wizard.

"You hard-headed, silly Mord'Sith. How do you think Sonia came to be?" He lowers his voice. "This magic, it is born off love! The magic of Confession can never work against that."

Cara looks down, unconvinced.

He has an idea. "I can prove it to you, if you don't believe me." He says. "Kahlan can try to confess you. It will not work! The spell binds all three of you." He smiles at his own ingeniousness.

Cara regards him seriously. For him to suggest such a thing, he must be entirely certain of the power of the abinbitontis- abonbinigis, whatever- spell.

Cara smiles slightly then. She looks at Kahlan, who is now standing behind the wizard.

"That won't be necessary, Zedd." Kahlan whispers, a bright blush covering her face, visible even in the poor lightning of the balcony.

Zedd looks at Kahlan with a frown. But he is a smart man. It takes only a moment for him to understand.

His bushy eyebrows rise high on his forehead.

He can only laugh in delight.

If he pats Cara on the back again though, she might have to agiel him after all.

xxx

That night, as soon as she gets in bed, Kahlan turns to face Cara, who is lying on her side, regarding her seriously. She kisses Cara's lips and then, moves closer, rubbing their cheeks together for a moment before moving back to look at her.

Cara looks back in silence for a while, her hand caressing Kahlan's arm, leaving goosebumps in her wake. Then, she asks the question that has been torturing her since Kahlan arrived at the Palace.

"Are you going to take Sonia with you when you go back to Aydindril?" Cara whispers.

Kahlan regards Cara seriously for a second. Then, she smiles. It is the brightest smile Cara has ever seen on Kahlan's face.

Her eyes sparkle with something she is yet to say out loud.

Then, she leans forward, and kisses Cara's lips again.

When she pulls away, she makes sure the Mord'Sith is looking at her eyes.

"I am going to take you both."

FIN.


End file.
